Dr. Beardface

Hey internet. Today I was looking at my beard, and it was looking extra frizzy, mostly because I hadn’t showered for about 36 hours and had been doing things like being in a sweaty room and playing powerball. So I decided the best thing to do would be to trim my beard with a beard trimmer. It was electric, and it was looking good until I hit the skin around my left jaw, and I quickly realized there was no way I would be able to salvage it. So now I am shorn. I’ll provide some before and after shots for funzies. Incidentally, I think a haircut is now necessary, since my hair just looks ridiculous now.

Tom actually took this picture to capture the man behind me who looked like Skip Gates.

I'm too tired to think of something witty.

I have a request to our readers (wherever you are). If you could leave a comment on one of the posts if you read it, that’d be great, because it would make us feel loved, and you can never have too much love in your life.

Please disregard the post below.

Nothing to see here, move along.

A night in the life of Danny Zhu

Since the beginning of freshman year, Danny has frequently gone to MIT late at night on the weekends. When asked about it, he never gives a straight answer and mumbles something about hanging out with some people. I can only imagine what he is actually up to, and here is my attempt at guessing at what those nights are like.

Midnight – 1:30 a.m.

Danny leaves Harvard and arrives at MIT.  He meets up with some friends who are currently playing DDR.

Perhaps "Butterfly" and "Boom Boom Dollar" provide a musical equivalent of Ballmer's Peak

After DDR has gotten them warmed up, it’s time to get down to work.

1:30 a.m. – 3:15  a.m.

Danny successfully infiltrates the NSA using only his iTouch and puts all Caltech and Yale students on its watchlist.

I touched your databases

3:15 a.m. – 5:00 a.m.

Danny programs a bot to win at online poker, but he is concerned about the legality of online gambling in the US, so his friends create a fake Canadian citizen to collect the winnings.  He leaves the program running indefinitely.

5:00 a.m. – 8:00 a.m.

8:00 a.m.

Danny wanders back to our room in a euphoric stupor, wondering why he didn’t go to MIT in the first place.